Hint* It’s Not What You Think
Every girl crazy ‘bout a sharp dressed man. You typically imagine gentlemen to be the considerate fellas: opening doors, attentive to the ladies, nice to old people—you get the idea. But what makes a gentleman different from other guys? More than what meets the eye, our visceral attraction to gentlemen runs much deeper than a custom tailored suit or expert politeness, indeed.
Here are 5 things you need to know about gentlemen; and why all other guys just don’t measure up.
First, let’s break it down into a root-word structure: Gentle. Man. Meaning, a man who is gentle. Simple enough.
To be a gentleman is to possess the cunning to destroy and conquer, but having enough personal restraint to refrain from doing so.
Wow! Let that sink in…
Gentlemen know the perimeters of agreements and honor their commitments without exploiting others
On a professional level, you’ve heard, “ ‘John handled his end of the bargain, like a real gentleman’.” This means, that under stressful situations when John’s grit was tested, that he found a way to honor his portion of an agreement; without cheating, or being selfish. There is no honor to be had when someone lazily slid into first place by being less-than-honest or by using someone else. Gentlemen value a pinky-promise just as much as lawyered-up-multi-page agreements. When confronted about how he felt about the Red Hot Chilli Peppers ripping his chords for Dani California, Tom Petty responded with, “I believe that they did not have negative intent.” Proving that he had full right to sue the band, but chose not to—class act. Checkmate Tom Petty.
Gentlemen know when it’s time to fight and when it’s time to walk away
If his loved one’s good-name is being challenged, a gentleman has no problem verbally reasoning with the offender. Men are often hard-wired for toughness, but restraint reigns supreme with gentlemen. This doesn’t make them weak, it makes them smart. Gentlemen will not hesitate to knock your lights out either if you threw the first punch. But gentlemen usually reserve physical brutalities to life or death situations and do not bring out the fisty-cuffs in simple bar-room brawls.
Remember that wrecking ball tough guy in the bar that would fight anyone and everyone to assert his dominance? Ya, that guy is not a gentleman. He’s a bully. This can be a great example of how he can turn on you when he is threatened. Be careful, if this is the kind of guy that turns you on.
Gentlemen are perfect mating matches. They don’t take advantage of the weak
Like it or don’t, men are (on average), physically stronger than women. Often, subconscious to them, women who are looking for their perfect mating match are attracted to obvious physical features such as: strength, height, smarts, but here’s the most important one to watch for—compassion towards the weak.
Think about this, you’d ultimately love a partner who was a specimen of good genes for baby-making but who could also show tenderness towards you and your babies. This is immeasurably helpful when times get hard (as they will) or when you’re not at your best. You can count on your gentleman to have this covered too. With all sincerity, he’s going to roll up his sleeves and take that colicky baby out of your hands and send you for a much-needed nap. He will do this as long as it takes to help you get back up to your best self. That’s what he cares about….OTHERS. When you’re at your most vulnerable, a gentleman won’t try to gain power and authority over you. Think Jack, from the hit show, This is Us. For a little guy Jack is crazy hot, aware, and everybody wants a hubs like that.
Alternatively, gentlemen, are the least likely to divorce: but when all else has failed, a gentleman is the easiest to divorce. This fella can side-step his ego, to meet his needs while being fair to yours. Gentlemen take care of their responsibilities. Even under extreme duress—doing so happily as if it’s part of life’s wonderful dance, instead of acting as if it’s some big burden to bear in ‘victim land’. With soaring divorce rates, you best factor this into your engagement ‘joy.’
Gentlemen know how to win and lose
In an athletic sense, you’ve likely heard, “ ‘We played a gentlemen’s game of tennis’.” This means that the men involved in the contest at hand; handled themselves with decorum in a win lose or draw outcome. This is big—because you can tell a lot about a person by how they handle defeat. Gentlemen who’ve lost—simply extend their hand to congratulate the victor, take their licks and get back to the drawing board to figure out how to win next time. When gentlemen win, they congratulate everyone involved in clinching the victory. Classy. Think NFL quarterback Cam Newton from the Carolina Panthers and how he temper-tantrumed when losing his perfect football season, to Tom Brady and the New England Patriots in 2015. His sore-loserdom, was caught on camera; it not only embarrassed himself but his entire city. C’mon man!
Beware of gentlemen “posers” – All show no go types
From the moment that men figured out that high caliber ladies prefer gentlemen, you have the entry of the phony-gentlemen. As if dating wasn’t hard enough. These fellas spend an awful amount of time looking, dressing and smelling good; but their personalities are atrocious when placed in any integrity test. That hot date who’s above restaurant servers, or that polished CEO with a mega-watt-charmer-smile who’s dismissive to his staff….yep, all phony. Take well-heeled Tiger Woods for this example: his cheating heart disappointed a whole nation. Why was everyone so disheartened to hear that he had scads of D-quality side chicks? He’s a golfer, what did we care about his personal life? It’s because he gleaned his perfect family photos all over tabloids (for years) giving the ILLUSION that he was a gentleman. We were all drinking his good guy juice, and he let us down through deceit. Gentlemen are what they say they are, and act accordingly. These posers will bust your little heart in record time. Hey, if it can happen to a bombshell like Elin Nordegren— it can happen to you.
Gentlemen come in all shapes, sizes, and presentations. They may be wearing coveralls: gritty working men types or they may look typical, in a suit and tie. What makes a gentleman stand apart from the rest of all the regular Joe’s, is his primal framework of values, and personal code of conduct. Gentlemen are the Knights that we root for, who we can be vulnerable with, who pick us up when we don’t know how to move on: our true champions! In an often cold, uncaring, insincere world of existence—gentlemen give us something to believe in.