Girl, we see you over there in the corner of our party. Your shoulders slumped inward, hiding your beautiful body; and your rolled up posture shows that you’re a fish out of water. You are gorgeous- and at one time- it looked like you knew what it meant to light up a room.  What happened? To be confident and to own your space around you, is an art. Luckily when cultivated, this tool in your tool box will pay you dividends for the rest of your life.

Here are 7 fool-proof ways to get your swagger back up to good working order:

1. Sit and stand up straight!

First things first, it’s all about posture. If you act as if you have an iron rod for a spine, others will believe you do, too. This is the fastest way to change your outlook and how you’re perceived by others. Consciously make an effort for an entire day, to roll your shoulders back, open up your chest (and heart)- breathe in slowly and exhale confidently. Rinse and repeat daily.

2. Clean up your mind, and you will clean up your life.

Self-doubt thoughts are junk thoughts. The proliferation of a negative self-image is a slippery slope to depression and anxiety. It happens quickly and you will have a hard time climbing out of that mind space. Write down a list of your skills /talents /assets and pick one a month to develop further. You’ll soon buy a one-way ticket to experiencing real confidence.

> See-How to Change Your Life, by Cleaning Out Your Mind

3. Tidy up your look.

Like it or don’t first and lasting impressions, matter. You don’t have to completely morph into someone that you’re not, but never underestimate the power of a new haircut. Go shopping and pick out clothes off the rack that you typically wouldn’t reach for-try them on and amaze yourself. Different cuts of clothing can change your body image, drastically. We’ve all seen confident gals embrace their signature imperfections-like a serious tooth gap-and rock them; this could be you. But if you don’t like your teeth or that cheek mole, then do something about it. These are simple things to do-and they may have annoyed you, forever. Sport your new look by organizing one helluva girls night, see how it’s received-then tweak if so desired. This is a process, don’t give up in defeat-it’s worth it, and you’ll learn much about yourself-your likes/dislikes etc.

4. Talk to someone you don’t know, every day.

Connecting with humans is essential, even for introverts. Try asking the fella or gal who makes your coffee every day, what their name is. That’s it, and very simple. See what happens. Maybe they will be annoyed, maybe they won’t. It doesn’t matter the outcome, because the goal is to connect to the people that are in your life (even in the smallest of ways), such as with your barista. You can judge the quality of that interaction, later.

5. Red shirt challenge.

Scared of breaking out of the neutrals trap? It’s true, not much beats the safety of nudes, black, grey and white. Wearing bright colors is a great way to add zing to your personality. If you’re scared of color, try a bright shade on your fingernails and lips first. Bold colored earrings are fun and safe to try, too. Guaranteed, someone will notice and say so, to you. When you’re ready, attempt the red shirt challenge. Red is extremely alluring. Find a really bright red shirt. Choose a solid red, and decide if your skin tone needs a warm red (orange undertone) or a cool red (blue undertone); then match up your lips- head to a beauty counter to find the right red for you. Now walk out the door. You’ll soon see what happens *wink*, and you’re welcome.

6. Manifest your destiny.

You’ve heard of the law of attraction? If not, essentially, whatever you spend time worrying about, will be brought to you in real life on a silver platter. Yikes! Don’t despair, because, alternatively; whatever you dream about or hope for, will be brought to you, also. The Universe does not discriminate about the quality of what you are asking it for. Therefore, be conscious. Let go of worries (yes, easier said than done, but do it), and start dreaming! Watch for signs that you are indeed, manifesting your best self. Affirmations said aloud in the mirror, every morning, is an amazing trick to get you and the Universe to gel together. Repeat this, “I’m amazing, people love me, I LOVE ME.” Feel free to make up your own affirmation. This is a fun process-one that you’re in control of.

7. Claim your airspace.

The 18 inches of airspace around you is YOUR space. Actually, the entire airspace in any room that you’re in- should be your space. But let’s start small, and own the first 18 inches. You need to “claim” this space as yours. This is an empowering exercise used to help people who have been violated-to gain control of themselves and they’re surroundings- once more. Treat your space like a precious bubble of protection. It affords you the right to be here, and the right to take up this space, to exist. Treat this special zone with care, become the President of this space as if it’s your own little country. When you think of your space occupancy in these terms, you’ll start to protect it, use it, and own it. When that becomes comfortable, start infusing your ownership with other spaces, working up to the rest of the room, and eventually the rest of this Earth.

Try these 7 tips to first: Define your space, then nurture it, and finally own it!


Canadian Lakeside Writer | Digitial Designer

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